Explanations
by razzle-dazzle-me
Summary: COMPLETE! Alternative ItHotG. Before Alanna's father dies (while Alanna's at the palace disguised as a boy) he betroths her to Raoul of Golden Lake! Lot's of fluff to come. Please R 'n R!
1. Chapter One

Summary: Alternative ItHotG. Before Alanna's father dies (while Alanna's at the palace disguised as a boy) he betroths her to Raoul of Golden Lake! How could Alanna have gotten out of that one? Pairing not decided yet. If you have a preference, how about review and tell me???

Disclaimer: All the characters, settings, everything belong to Tamora Pierce. This goes for any future chapters too.

**Chapter One**

**Explanations**

Alanna glanced quickly to either side of the hallway before knocking steadily on Duke Gareth's office door. She took a deep breathe contemplating whether this was a friends joke- it was highly unusual for the Duke to ask attendance of a squire this late at night. Judging by the black sky, it was a bit past midnight.

Duke Gareth opened the door, stepping aside to let Squire Alan in.

'What can I do for you tonight, your Grace?' Alanna asked, bowing quickly. A feeling in the pit of her stomach told her something was not right, as did the countenance of Duke Gareth.

'Alan, I have just received a very strange letter from your father, that I was hoping you might shed some light on.' Duke Gareth sank tiredly into his chair behind the desk, looking quizzically at Alanna's face.

A large lump formed in Alanna's throat. 'And how is that, your Grace?'

The Duke frowned. 'He has written to inform us, or shall I say "Thom", of your supposed "sisters" engagement to none other than Sir Raoul of Golden Lake.' Duke Gareth's frown deepened. 'Now how can you suppose this has come about? I did believe you only had a twin brother...'

Alanna licked her lips. She needed to think hard and fast. Looking about the office she grimaced, before turning her attention back to Duke Gareth. 'Oh, my sister?' Duke Gareth nodded. 'Yes... well, of course I have a sister.' Alanna met Duke Gareth's eyes, full of suspicion.

'Well then, I believe my congratulations are in order.' He replied.

'Thank you, your Grace.' Alanna felt her face redden, as her body filled with guilt at the lie.

'You are dismissed.'

**... later ...**

'Jon! What am I going to do?' Alanna sat on her night-masters bed, having just retold him the events of the evening. 'I'll bet Raoul finds out any day now and he'll want to know why I've never mentioned a sister before!'

'Oh Gods...' Prince Jonathan ran a hand through his hair, gulping down the rest of his wine. He leaned back into the armchair where he sat, stealing a glance at his friends face. She looked so vulnerable, so scared and tense. He wished so much to comfort her, hold her in his arms till everything was alright. But he couldn't do that. She wasn't ready.

'Jon?' Alanna pleaded, bringing his attention back to the matter at hand. 'What can I do?'

Jonathan looked around his room, desperate for an idea. He found none. 'I could send you away for some reason... to fetch me some Bazhir document... That would buy us two, maybe three weeks'

'And I come here in disguise instead...' Alanna leant her head against a bed-post. 'Pretend to be fresh from the convent, Squire Alan's older sister. But I cant possibly go through with a wedding!'

'You could act atrocious... Make it so Raoul would be the one to call off the engagement.'

Alanna looked at Jon horrified. 'That would bring disgrace to my whole family! Squire Alan would be a laughing stock!'

Jon looked worriedly at Alanna. He couldn't think of anything else to do! 'Do you think you could go through with this plan?'

Alanna closed her eyes. 'I suppose I might not have a choice. Lets go talk it over with George first.'

A/N: Ok, what do you think??? Please review and tell me! I realise it's a bit short, I'll try and make any more chapters longer!


	2. Chapter Two

A/N: Thanks so much to the people who reviewed! I've written you all personal thankyous at the end.

Alanna is meant to be about 16 right now, so this takes place after the war with Tusaine. And I've decided it'll be an Alanna/Raoul, mostly anyway...

Please read-review and enjoy, if you can :)

**Chapter Two**

Alanna sat in the carriage biting her lip. Peering out the window, she could see they were passing through the temple district. The pins sticking the blonde wig onto her scalp was giving Alanna a headache. Jon had made up a potion to keep her eyes a bluey-purple and it stung terribly. She wore a pretty lilac dress, the corset making it impossible to breathe in, and Mistress Cooper had layered her face in make-up that for some reason had a rather unpleasant odour; on the bright side, it was unlikely anyone would ever be able to recognise her.

She had spent the whole day after the news that night getting fitted for clothes by George's mother. Two days had now past since the beginning of the preparations. George had organised to have all letters concerning the betrothal kept from reaching the convent and Alanna had written a letter to Sir Raoul, from her sister 'Lily' addressing her arrival to Corus as would be expected. Squire Alan had officially left for the desert, to return as soon as possible, leaving other plans ready to go. Faithful had agreed to stay with George, out of sight for the time being.

The carriage gently came to a stop. Glancing out the window again Alanna could see Gary waiting with Raoul. Taking a closer look, she could just make out the frightened expression on Raoul's face. Leaning in closer still to the door, she could hear Gary's muffled voice trying to console their friend.

_'At least you wont have to dance with any other ladies for a while. And you never know, she might be alright!'_

_'And so why did Alan never mention a sister before? And then he fled off somewhere as soon as she is to arrive!' _Raoul stuck his hands into his breeches_. 'I asked Cythera if she'd ever heard of her at the convent and she hadn't. No-one has. I'm probably marrying some unsociable she-demon.'_

_'Good, then you'll get on just fine. Shut up, she's here now.'_

Alanna opened the door and stepped nimbly onto the ladder, clutching Gary's offered arm to help her down. Feeling the two sets of eyes summing her up, she couldn't help but register the burning of her cheeks. It was all up to her now- this performance would determine her future, for better or worse.

Raoul had taken one look at the petite blonde standing in front of him and fallen instantly head over heels in love. 'Good morning, my Lady. I'm Sir Raoul of Golden Lake.' He bowed politely, matching her red cheeks with his own. 'Please, just call me Raoul.'

'Good morning.' She quickly bobbed a curtsy, careful to make it quick so she wouldn't lose her balance. 'I'm Lily.' The unfamiliar name sounded odd rolling off her tongue.

'And I'm Sir Gareth of Naxen,' Gary broke in. 'But please, call me Gary.' He raised an eyebrow at Raoul, who looked smitten already. Raoul gave him a tiny nod in answer, before both leading the lovely Lady Lily inside.

...Gary...

One glance at Lily was all he needed- he should never have worried. It wasn't that Lily was beautiful, or particularly graceful for that matter. No, there was something different about this one, something special. Funny how she resembles Alan...

...Raoul...

How could Alan have never told us he had such a gorgeous sister? Lily is fantastic, I am so lucky. I really should have attempted to brush my hair this morning, how is she ever going to like me as I do her?

...pppqqq...

A/N: Hi! Well I know it's really short, (actually shorter then the first chapter), but I tried sticking the next bit of the plot on and it just wouldn't work. I've written three quarters of the next chapter, so it shouldn't be long till I post that :)

JunoMagic: Yeah, I know what you mean. I reckon everyone on this site has particular stories that they stay directly away from, so thanks for taking the time to read and review. I hope you keep reading and if you're reading this I hope you liked this chapter.

Pinky: Look, I took your advise! Thanks for reviewing, I hope you read and enjoy this chapter!

Angie: Thanks! I'm glad you like Raoul, the future chapters will hopefully get more and more fluffy!

Anonymous: Thanks for reviewing!

the-dragon-whisperer: Thankyou so much! I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

dragon shadows: Hey, I updated pretty soon right? Thankyou so much for the review!


	3. Chapter Three

A/N: Hi! Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! I'm really not happy with this chapter, but I swear if I had to re-start it one more time I'd have hysterics, so I've posted it anyway (against better judgement). And yay to me: chappie three makes this my longest running story!

**Chapter Three**

_Ouch _Alanna cursed silently under her breath, having just pricked her finger again with the embroidery needle. All males at the palace were about their daily lives of running the country, making excruciatingly life changing decisions and training for their dramatically interesting lives. The ladies, on the other hand, sat patiently waiting for a moment when they may enter into the male circle and for brief moments feel like their lives mattered, that there was meaning to the deliriously mind-numbing tasks they endlessly performed. For the first time in Alanna's life she stopped being frustrated at the ladies so-seemed stupidity, at their lack of realisation for the page and squires so little spare time, of which was not always wanted to be spent chatting. She came to realise how lucky she was to have escaped this trap and how unhappy she would have been if she had not.

'Mmm?' Alanna pulled at the two entangled threads, realising lady Delia's last comment had been directed at her. They sat, a group of eight pretty porcelain dolls, in a tight ring around a cards table in a lesser library.

' Your Squire Alan's sister, aren't you?' Delia threw the stupid little pin cushion she had been making onto the table.

'That's right.' Alanna looked sideways at Delia. The girl was now re-pinning her hair.

'Mmm...' Delia thought aloud. 'I've always wanted to figure that one out.'

'How do you mean?' Lady Cythera asked.

'He would be an excellent catch, the prince's squire and all.' Delia flicked her eyes maliciously at Alanna. 'Pity really. It seems, as rumour would have it, no _woman_ will ever stand a chance.'

The ladies became uncomfortably silent. They all knew what Delia was hinting at. Alanna's face reddened as she fought to keep her cool. 'A word of advice Delia.' Alanna said through clenched teeth- how she wished at this moment she had her sword! 'I wouldn't be so rude to people. It's not becoming.'

Delia raised a single quizzical eyebrow. _Why don't I remember her from the convent? _She puzzled_. With a tongue so much like her brothers, you would think she'd be very much in the spotlight there. I should tell Roger of this; there is something very strange about our dearest Lily._

...pppqqq...

Later on Alanna received a note from Raoul, inviting her to join him at a party that night. She promptly wrote a reply accepting, although she felt sick to the stomach at the mere thought of the event. The group of ladies retired early, eager to begin preparations for the evening.

Alanna dressed in a pretty pale green gown. She was going to call for a maid to do her hair, then thought better of it- what if her wig fell off while it was being brushed? So she settled for a simple style. She did however get help to do her make-up. Before Alanna knew it, Raoul was knocking on her door.

The look of pleasure on Raoul's face when he first glanced her told Alanna she needed to start work; first impressions count, and it was time to begin turning Raoul off her. It would do her no good if he found her pleasant, she pondered drearily.

Lily and Raoul entered the ballroom, quickly hiding away into a quieter corner. Many heads turned to stare at Alanna; both to see the lucky woman engaged to the very eligible Sir Raoul, and the mysteriously never before mentioned sister of Squire Alan. It wasn't long before she was being introduced to Alex, Geoffrey and Sacherall, who all made polite chit-chat while really giving her the once-over. Jonathan was busy dancing with Lady Delia.

'Would you like to dance?' Raoul asked as the orchestra began a new piece.

Alanna knew Raoul hated dancing. 'I'd love to,' she replied, inwardly grimacing.

Many sore toes later, the couple decided to take a walk in the gardens. Alanna had successfully made their interests completely opposite, questioned all Raoul's comments, and laughed inappropriately at all the right moments. As far as she knew, it was all going according to plan. Raoul should detest the very thought of her by the end of the evening.

'So you don't like horses?' Raoul seemed slightly bewildered.

'Oh yes, I hate everything to do with jousting.' Alanna couldn't meet his eyes. They left the path to sit on a bench next to the rose bushes. 'You don't like jousting, do you?' She blinked stupidly, doing her best impression of the brainless court flirts Raoul hated so much.

'Well...' Raoul's voice trailed off. They sat for a moment in awkward silence. Then Raoul swung around on the bench to face her.

...Raoul...

It didn't seem like they had many common interests. But that was Ok. One look into those bluey-purple eyes melted his heart away. And her dancing! He fought to hide a smile. He didn't mind about that either- in fact it suited him just fine. She was so funny, so quirky, so beautiful. It was the perfect match. He looked again at Lily fluttering her lashes- is it possible she feels the same way?

Raoul brought one hand up to cup her cheek, forcing her to look right into his face. Slowly, almost timidly, he moved his face down so that it was level with hers and gently kissed her mouth. Without thinking Alanna wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him back passionately. Raoul moved his hands down to her waist, shifting closer.

A loud twig braking brought them quickly back to reality.

**...pppqqq...**

A/N: Hi! I really tried not to rush through so much here. I know the first two chapters were really fast, but that was just the introduction to what I really wanted to write about, so I skipped over a lot of details. I'm trying to slow down the pace here, but I'm a very impatient person and it's proving rather hard. Please review and let me know what you think, honest criticism is what I need here!

And a big thanks to:

dragon shadows, alianne of conte, chicken puffs, The ORIGINAL Meathead, Squire-Ron/ja, Mia, Nessa Elanesse and morwenna the magnificant, for reviewing the last chapter.

I take all your thoughts, comments and everything else to mind when I write. Thanks a lot guys, you rock! :)


	4. Chapter Four

A/N: Hi! I'm buggered if I know why, but the site hasn't let me upload this chapter for the past three days. Grrrrr. I hate computers :( Oh well, here it is! Sorry about the wait...

**Chapter Four**

Alanna gasped, jumping up to face the hedge behind them. 'Did you hear that?'

Raoul stood up next to her, bringing an arm to wrap around her waist. 'It was probably just an animal.' He looked longingly back at the bench, but the moment was ruined.

'I don't like it out here.' Alanna shuddered, wondering who had been watching them. 'I want to go back to my rooms.'

Alanna looked up at Raoul's face, plainly showing his disappointment. _He's disappointed? _Alanna thought in panic. _ What am I doing? He's meant to hate me!_

'Ok. I'll escort you back.'

...pppqqq...

When Alanna closed the door to the main room, she could sense she was not alone. 'Jon, is that you?' She called out softly.

'Yeah.' Jon appeared from the study to the left side off the lounge room.

'What are you doing here?' Alanna walked past him, making her way to her dressing table.

'I thought we should talk.'

She stiffened. _Did he know? Was it Jon spying on her and Raoul? _'What about?' She couldn't keep the suspicion from her voice.

Jon sighed exasperated. 'Alanna, what's going on? You're my best friend, for Gods sake, I only thought you might want to talk for me!'

Alanna looked at Jon's reflection from the mirror in front of her. Him snapping would usually have wound her up, but not tonight. The expression of hurt and worry on her friends face sickened her- it can't have been Jon. 'I'm sorry.' Alanna carefully started to unpin her wig. 'I think someone might have been spying on me.'

'What?' Jonathan stepped up to stand behind her, helping to untie the pins.

Alanna explained what had happened; conveniently leaving out what her and Raoul had been up to. 'Don't worry,' Jon smiled warmly at Alanna, who tried to hide a yawn. 'At least they didn't see anything you mightn't want them to. I'll let George know what happened.' Alanna's face reddened at the thought of her lie spreading to yet another friend's ears. 'Goodnight.' Jon stood up to leave.

'Night.' Alanna couldn't meet his eyes.

**...pppqqq...**

The next morning Alanna found herself idly walking around a deserted library. She flicked her eyes over the old books uninterested. Her mind was on other things.

Why had she kissed Raoul? Was it possible she had feelings for him? Or was she just caught up in the heat of the moment, the rush of emotions and the dizziness in her chest? _Yes_, she urged herself to believe. _That must be it. _

Turning a corner to head down the next row of shelves Alanna found a large figure blocking her way. Tearing her eyes off the books she found herself face to face with Duke Roger. His eyes scanned her body; lingering far to long to be polite, on her chest.

Fighting the urge to slap him, Alanna curtsied instead. 'Good morning your Grace.'

The smile that spread across his face could be described in no other way- it was sleazy.

'And morning to you!.' He chuckled, obviously the flirt. 'I don't believe we've been introduced.' His eyes once again focused back on her chest.

Alanna shifted her feet uncomfortably. 'I'm Lady Lily of Trebond.' Alanna could feel her cheeks redden.

'Oh, of course! Squire Alan's sister.' Roger met her eyes for the first time. 'And how do you like Sir Raoul?' What could have been said as polite chit-chat came out nasty and snide.

'He's very well, your Grace.' Alanna scanned the shelf beside of her. 'Ah!' She picked up a random book. 'Here's what I was looking for.' She took a large sep backwards. 'If you'll excuse me, your Grace.'

He gave that same sleazy smile. 'I dare say we'll meet again.' Alanna simply nodded and turned away, a shiver running down her spine. If she had found Duke Roger creepy before, it was nothing to her suspicions now.

**...pppqqq...**

Jonathan sat in the remaining chair on Gary's balcony, where their group of friends basked lazily in the sun. He flicked his eyes over to Raoul, who was smiling happily as he lost a game of chess to Alex.

'So Raoul, tell us of your night with the lovely Lily.' Gary urged. He winked knowingly to Geoffrey.

Raoul blushed. 'We didn't do anything like that...' Alex snorted.

'I don't care what you all think!' Raoul was in too good a mood to let them spoil it. 'I'm in love.'

'In as much love as you were with Delia?' Jon teased.

Raoul glared at him. 'Nothing like it, not that you would know.' Jon's heart sank. He did know.

'What's with the glum face Jon?' Alex asked. 'Missing your squire so?' Now Jon fought not to blush.

'I've heard some rumours...' Jon began, quickly silencing the group.

'Well?' Gary asked. 'I take it you do intend to tell us now?'

'It's about Lady Lily...' All eyes flicked over to Raoul.

'I don't care what you or anyone else says of her, Jonathan.' Raoul warned. 'Don't speak of it and spread any nonsense further.'

Jon nodded, as if to agree and looked out over the city. The warm breeze that had been blowing before stopped dead. He didn't need to look to see the suspicion covering his friends faces, as they thought over what Jon might have heard.

Raoul looked miffed. 'I've got better things to do then this.' He said, glaring angrily at Jon as he left.

'What is it?' Gary whispered leaning over to Jon. 'Tell us!'

'No...' Jon forced a sorry look onto his face. 'I shouldn't have even mentioned it.' Meeting Gary's eyes he saw his friend's mind conducting hundreds of horrific stories concerning Lily. It was hard to keep the gleeful look from his face- Alanna would be pleased.

**...pppqqq...**

A/N: Hi again! Not much fluff in this chapter, but the plot has thickened! Hope it was worth the wait. Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed! I love you! Keep them coming!!! :)


	5. Chapter Five

A/N: I can't believe people are reviewing my story, thank you all so much! Sorry this chapter has taken so long to do :)

**Chapter Five**

Raoul practically ran down the corridor, throwing heated glares at anyone who got in his way. He didn't even realise where he was going until he was standing outside the main door to Lily's suite. Raoul leaned against the door frame for a moment catching his breathe, before knocking purposefully on the door.

'Come in,' Lily's soft voice answered. It sounded as though she were out of breathe too.

Raoul opened the door, finding himself alone in a large living area, similar to all the ladies rooms at the palace.

Alanna threw Lightning onto her bed, wiping the sweat from her face. It was hard to practice in such an enclosed area, and she had had to close the window which made the room hot and stuffy. Lily stepped into the living room, where she could see the back of someone's head seated on her couch. 'What's up Jon?' She asked, simply out of habit and without thinking.

Raoul gasped and spun around. Lily froze. She was wearing a pair of worn breeches and a shirt, both tight garments clearly showing the curves of her body. The blonde wig was tied in a pony-tail, with cascades of curls flowing down her back.

'Oh, Gods!' Lily cursed, folding her arms across her chest. 'I thought you were Jon.'

'Jon? Why would I be Jon? And why are you wearing _men's_ clothes?' Raoul's voice rose and fell, a horrified expression on his face.

'What are you doing here?'

Raoul didn't even know himself. 'Answer my questions first!'

Alanna moved further into the room, seating herself in the chair opposite Raoul. 'I was practicing.'

'Practicing what?'

A million thoughts flew around Alanna's head. 'Self defence techniques. In case I am ever in trouble, it's important for a lady to be able to fend for herself.' Alanna's cheeks flushed. 'Don't you agree?'

Raoul looked startled, then he surprised her by smiling. 'I think it's great.' His gaze left her eyes to wonder out the window. 'Why did you think I was Jon? I didn't even realise you had been introduced.'

Alanna was silent for a moment while she thought up a plausible reply. 'Yes, we met in the library earlier this morning. He said he was going to lend me a book and drop it around later.'

'Oh.' Raoul contemplated this for a moment.

An awkward silence followed. 'We really shouldn't be here together without a chaperone.' Alanna said, desperate for something to say.

Raoul took it as a hint and stood, followed Alanna to the door. 'I am sorry to have disturbed you, Lily.'

Alanna realised she couldn't breathe. Her hands became sweaty and she could hear her heart beating fast in her chest. Raoul bent down and kissed her softly on the lips. 'Till next time then.'

...pppqqq...

Alanna couldn't concentrate after that and made her way back to the library. She needed something to take her mind off Raoul. Sir Myles of Olau was sitting alone at a small table, buried deep in a scroll. Alanna's eyes flicked to the clock- he was going to be late to his next class.

Alanna sat herself -not so gracefully- into the chair next to him. 'I hope I'm not interrupting you...'

Myles looked up, startled. 'Of course not.' His eyes summed her up, with the realisation of who she was.

'I think your going to be late, Sir Myles.' Alanna stated, watching as he took a quick glance around the library, noticing for the first time it was empty.

Myles looked at the clock. 'Yes, your right.' He smiled at her. 'You know I'm very fond of your brother, my lady.'

'Yes, he's... ' Alanna thought quickly what to say. 'Written about you.'

'So you do keep in contact then?'

'Not as much as I'd like...' Alanna knew it sounded weak and she could see the disbelief on Myles' face. _Does he know who I am?_ She thought.

'Lily,' Myles leaned in closer, his breathe curling down Alanna's neck. 'Be careful; I find it very interesting that you've only been here two days and have already memorised my timetable. You also bear remarkable resemblance to your _brother_?, especially for someone a year older. You wont want others coming to the same thoughts with my conclusion.' He stood, gathering up the scrolls. 'If you ever need help, just come to me. I'll always be there for you.' With a gentle smile he patted her shoulder and left.

**...pppqqq...**

Duke Roger of Conte nodded his head in grim satisfaction. The tiny wax model of Squire Alan sat before him, perfect in every detail. The Duke had taken advantage of the squire's absence and searched his rooms, taking clothing and hair samples to make his collection of the figures barring his way to the kingdom complete. He gathered the King, Duke Gareth, Myles, the Lord Provost, Jonathan and Alan into the tightly woven bag. Finally he picked up the Queen- he had other plans for her.

But what of Lady Lily?Duke Roger pondered.How much had her brother told her about him? He thought back to their meeting in the library. Maybe the sister could be brought to his side and used against her brother. There was definitely already a rift between the two, why else would Alan have never mentioned her before?

Roger smiled to himself as he sat the Queen under the trickle of water pouring from the fountain. This needed more thought.

**...pppqqq...**

A/N: Phew, I've spent the past four hours working on this chapter. I forgot to say thanks to everyone who reviewed in the last one, so here's the list now :)

alianne of conte, Eridani, Macko, Queen's Own, dragon shadows, The ORIGINAL Meathead, ThessalyD, Queen's Own, Mia, Romantic with a pen, The Midnight Line, ubiquitous girl, chicken puffs, bob, JunoMagic, Mage Light, Fugitive, DestinyHunter, Fen in the Sky with Diamonds and Drama Queens rule.

That's a pretty random order and I hope I've got everyone, my deepest apologies if I missed you out! You people have all been wonderful, thank you all so much :) Without any reviews I wouldn't bother.

I'm sorry for any cliff-hangers, I don't do it on purpose it's just an easy way to copout and end the chapters. This story is A/R, so sorry again; but deal with it. Can you believe I didn't even think of calling Alanna 'Alanna'?? How stupid is that! If I could be bothered I'd go back and change every 'Lily' to 'Alanna' - but as it happens I'm too lazy. I'm also sorry for portraying the women as stupid and meaningless; I hadn't even realised I was doing it at the time! I'll try and put in something to make up for it, I promise :)

Thanks again, and don't forget to review!!!


	6. Chapter Six

A/N: Hi! Well it's that time of year again- no social activities, endless career speeches in assembly, nervous break downs, late nights studying and all stress related illnesses; that's right, it's EXAM time. Do I need to say any more? Basically I'll apologise right now for lack of updates in the very near future- I'm very sorry. I'll get back on it as soon as I can :-)

**Chapter Six**

Alanna looked around Jon's room quickly, the sight not pleasing her. Squire Alan had only been absent a couple of days, yet the Princes quarters looked like they hadn't been clean in years. Laundry and fungus filled cutlery lay about everywhere, the fire had not been lit, the bed was not made, the bath had not been emptied and the room was stuffy, having not been aired out.

'What have you been doing in here?' Alanna asked, plainly annoyed.

'What do you mean?' Jon lay on his unmade bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.

'You're living in a complete pigsty.' Alanna kicked a heap of dirty clothes to the corner of the room. 'It's disgusting.'

'My dearest friend Alan isn't turning all lady-like on me now, is she?'

'Jon, I think Gary would find this gross. And that's really saying something.'

He laughed. 'I'll call a maid in later to tidy it up. Stop fussing.'

Alanna rolled her eyes. Was it too much to ask for him to pick up after himself from time to time? She walked to the window, opening the shutter to let in the breeze.

'Alanna...' Jon rolled off the bed, coming up behind her and taking her hand in his. 'There's something I've been meaning to discuss with you.'

Alanna felt butterflies swim around her stomach. She ran her spare hand over the soft green skirt Mistress Cooper had picked for her. While Eleni had been particularly fond of this outfit, Alanna felt rather self conscience with the diminishing neckline.

'What?' Alanna looked up into his captivating sapphire eyes. Slowly Jonathan lowered his face to hers, timidly kissing her mouth. Long arms sneaked around her waist, pulling her closer. Alanna pushed him away.

'Alanna?' Jonathan moaned.

'I'm sorry.' Alanna breathed hard, the corset determined to keep her ribs pinned together. 'It just... doesn't feel right. Maybe I though it would before, but things have changed now.'

'What do you mean?'

Alanna bit her lip. 'I don't want to talk about it.' She walked to the door, twisting the knob.

'You have feelings for him, don't you?'

Alanna turned around, staring at Jonathan's back. 'Who?'

'Who?' Jon repeated, shaking his head. 'Raoul. Don't you?'

Alanna opened the door a crake, taking a look along the deserted hallway. 'I don't know. Maybe.'

**...pppqqq...**

Alex pretended to examine the map on the back wall, but his eyes never left Delia. 'Is there anything else I can do for you, my Grace?'

Duke Roger leaned back in his chair, orange magic glittering over the walls to keep out eavesdroppers. 'I've come to a decision about the mysterious Lady Lily.'

Delia sniggered. 'Lady Lily? You should see her tapestry work- it's enough to disgrace the whole convent.' Delia frowned. 'I wonder how she ever got away with it...'

'Why don't you ask her my dear?' The Duke glanced at Delia, her brow knit deep in thought. 'I am convinced we must acquire her to our group.'

'What?' Alex swallowed the lump from his throat. 'It's too risky. What if she tells someone?'

Roger shook his head. 'We need her. Not only will she be close to Sir Raoul the Princes friend, but she is also the sister to the Princes squire. If she can be convinced, it could be a great asset to our accounts.'

'You mean to say,' Alex put together. 'That she would be able to take care of our small red-headed friend and even her future husband- if it is required.'

'Yes.'

Alex's mind was over loaded with thoughts. 'And what if we ask her and she's not interested?'

'Kill her.' The Duke leaned back once again, happy to have the matter discussed. 'You can take care of that Alex, if you have the guts for it. I'll talk to Lily this evening.'

**...pppqqq...**

A/N: Hi! Sorry this chapter's not very long, but I wanted to post something while I have the chance. Hopefully I'll update sometime during the week, but I can't make any promises.

I got a review saying I'm not putting disclaimers in- if you have a look at chapter one, you'll find I wrote one there meant to cover the whole story. Hope that's all cool :-) Have a good weekend.

Thanks again for all the lovely reviews- you guys truly rock. Keep them coming!


	7. Chapter Seven

A/N: Do you all hate me now? I think I'd hate me if I were you. It pisses me off so much when authors just stop writing, but I can sincerely tell you I hated not having finished this fic off. Thanks to Kiki, who in nine simple, polite word made me feel guilty enough to stay up all night writing this. I'm embarrassed to say I had to re-read my own story cause I couldn't remember what was happening. So, without further ado here's the next chapter.

**Chapter Seven**

'I think this is getting too hard.' Alanna flung her cloak onto the peg before collapsing onto George's most comfortable armchair.

'Is a ladies life so difficult?' George struggled with a grin, pouring them both a drink.

'You'd be surprised, George.' Alanna sighed inwardly. She'd just spent the afternoon with Raoul and Alex giving her a tour of the menagerie. It was the first chance in days she'd been able to visit her friend.

'And what of Raoul? Does he appear suicidal at the prospect of marriage yet?'

Alanna frowned. 'I don't get it,' a blush began to rise on her cheeks. 'I think he might like me.'

George pondered this for a moment, again Alanna thought he was fighting a smile. 'And what exactly makes you say that?'

Alanna's blush deepened. 'Oh… he, hmm.' She cleared her throat. 'He kissed me.'

'What?' George snorted.

'Don't laugh!' Alanna threw her cushion at him. 'What can I do?'

George grabbed the cushion, throwing it back to her. 'If the original plan isn't working…' He stopped, running a hand through his hair.

'Spit it out George.'

'Maybe you should tell Raoul the truth?' George met her eyes squarely. 'The longer you put it off, the harder it'll get.'

'But he'll hate me!' Alanna stood, walking to the window so George wouldn't see the fear on her face. 'How could he ever forgive me for deceiving him like this- not only once, but twice over!

'Think this over now, Alanna.' George moved so he was in front of her, blocking her view from the window. He slowly took both her hands into his. 'You cannot go on lying to him. Raoul's not stupid, he'll figure it out himself soon enough, I'm sure. And if he really cares for you he'll want Alan back as soon as possible.' George broke his hands from hers, pulling her into a tight hug. 'Don't fret, my love. Thing's will settle back to normal when they're meant to.'

…**pppqqq…**

Raoul shifted his feet for the hundredth time. Alanna let him squirm in his discomfort at her sullenness, a last ditch attempt to anger him before the plan officially failed.

Bringing the wine glass up to her lips again, Alanna seemingly looked bored as kept her eyes focused on Duke Roger. Was she imagining it, or did his glance regularly turn to her direction? It was hard to tell in the crowded ballroom.

Raoul cleared his throat. 'Would you like to dance, Lily?' His big, dark eyes full of pleading.

_How can I be doing this to a friend? Stringing him along like he's some stupid puppet. Bending him to my will, to please my needs. Raoul doesn't deserve this. George is right- I have to put it all straight with him, now. No more lies. _

Alanna bit her lip. 'No. Come for a walk with me, there's something I need to tell you.'

Alanna headed out into the courtyard, nodding to Jonathan who was chatting with Delia when he frowned at her. Raoul trailed behind, deep in his own thoughts.

At last they reached the most secluded area of the gardens, unofficially reserved for the more intimate moments of noble's lives. Large oak trees surrounded them, flowered shrubbery forming private 'resting' areas. Thinking of the last time she'd been here with Raoul, Alanna grimaced.

She turned to face him, looking up into his eyes. Raoul smiled, misreading her expression. He leaned closer pulling her into his hold, an arm wrapping around her waist. Slowly he kissed her lips.

Alanna fought down the sobs choking her throat as she pushed him away. 'Stop it Raoul.' She struggled for air, the corset once again restricting her intake of oxygen. 'I have to talk to you.' She seated herself on the ground, inviting him to join her. Looking slightly stung, Raoul obeyed.

'I'm not who you think I am, Raoul.' Alanna bit her lip, beginning the tedious task of removing her blonde wig. 'Alan doesn't have a sister.'

Raoul raised his eyebrows. 'What?'

'He has only a twin brother, studying at the Mithran Cloisters.'

'Yes,' Raoul tried to make sense of this, his voice disbelieving. 'He's told us of Thom. So, if your not related to Alan, who are you?'

'I am related to Alan.' Alanna took a deep breath- there was no going back now. 'I _am_ Alan.'

Raoul grinned, but he didn't look particularly humoured. 'I'm not following you Lily.'

Removing the last pin Alanna lifted the wig from her head, copper locks falling into her face. 'My names Alanna. You see, our father was going to send Thom to the palace and I to the convent. But Thom wants to be a sorcerer and I want to be a knight. Thom forged letters and I came here as Alan, disguised as a boy.'

Raoul's face was steadily growing whiter as he listened. 'I don't understand. You- your Alan?'

Alanna nodded. 'Jon knows, and George. I'm sorry Raoul.' She couldn't stop the tears building up in her eyes now. 'I'm so sorry.'

Raoul nodded, then a smile crept onto his lips. 'Did I just kiss Squire Alan?'

Alanna laughed, trying to wipe the tears away. Raoul moved closer to pat her back. 'Don't worry Lily- no, Alan. Or is it Alanna now?' He shook his head to clear it. 'I wont tell anyone, I promise.'

She couldn't bring herself to look at him. How could he be so kind after what she'd put him through the last few days?

'But one thing,' Raoul frowned. 'What are we going to do about our betrothal?'

Jonathan, Alanna and Raoul sat up late through the night discussing possible ways to end the upcoming marriage, while leaving all reputations in tact. At last, nearing two o'clock, they came to a decision.

…**pppqqq…**

When Alanna heard the knocking on her door early the next morning, she was already packed and ready to go. However, upon opening it she realised she might be delayed for a while longer.

Duke Roger confidently strolled in, frowning at the trunks surrounding them. 'Are you moving somewhere?' A sly smile crept across his lips. 'Into Raoul's rooms already?'

Alanna snapped the door shut, forcing tears into her eyes. 'No. I'm returning home for a while- Raoul and I have had a fight.'

'Oh dear!' Roger appeared to look genuinely concerned, placing caring hands on her shoulders.

Alanna looked over his arm, cautiously taking a step back.

'I'm so sorry to hear that,' he moved away, looking out the window to avoid her eyes. 'Is the engagement off then?'

Alanna nodded, although he was unable to see.

The Duke moved around a small table to seat himself on the couch. Alanna felt a little unnerved by this- what did Roger want with her? Had he seen through her second disguise?

'Why don't you sit down, Lily?' He appeared to be inviting, but Alanna couldn't help feeling his request was an order. 'I have something to discuss with you.'

Alanna sat in a side chair, carefully avoiding his gaze. 'Yes, your grace?'

'We're cut from the same cloth really.' Roger smiled reassuringly. 'You and I. Have you met Prince Jonathan?'

Alanna nodded.

'Did you like him?'

Alanna shrugged. 'Surely my humble opinion is of no consequence to anyone else.'

Duke Roger raised his eyebrows. 'You could be powerful, if you wanted to be.'

'What does that mean?'

Roger decided to change tactics. Flattery is the key to success, as he had been taught. 'You're young, intelligent, pretty. Any man would benefit with you at his side.'

Alanna wasn't buying it. 'I'm not following you, your grace.' _Was this the same kind of talk the Duke had given Alan at the River Drell? What did this mean? _She made a point of checking the large clock on the wall. 'I have many things to do this morning…'

'I wouldn't want to keep you, of course.' He smiled again. 'If I can just ask you this one thing- what do you want most in the world, Lily?'

Alanna thought about what best way to answer this. She had to be wary of what she said. 'To be happy, your grace.'

'I could give you this.' Roger looked very smug. 'I could give you many things, if you were loyal to me.'

She had to end this conversation now. Standing up Alanna walked to the door, opening it for him. 'And the ones I love?' She smiled at the irony of the question- would he see the similarity between her and her 'brother' now? 'What about them, your Grace? Would they be happy too?'

Duke Roger frowned, not answering. He took one last glance at her before leaving, thinking their discussion to have gone very well up until this point. Around the corner Alex was waiting.

His dark eyes never left Roger, but the Duke did not look at him. He stopped for a moment. 'Do it. But do it now- she's leaving.'

…**pppqqq…**

A/N: Albeit well delayed, I hope you liked it. There's only one more chapter left now, but I promise you wont have to wait two months for it. Thanks for reading -)


	8. Chapter Eight

Disclaimer: All the characters, settings, everything belong to Tamora Pierce.

**Chapter Eight**

Alanna fought to keep the suspicion from showing on her face. Could it be a coincidence that Alex might turn up just as the Duke left?

She forced a smile to her lips. 'Sir Alexander! Please, come in.'

Alex ran a hand nervously through his hair, slowly making his way into the room.

'What can I do for you?' She tried not to seem pressing.

Alex sat casually on the couch Roger had been moments before. 'Oh, I just came for a chat.' He patted the space next to him. 'Why don't you join me?'

Alanna frowned. She _really_ didn't like this. Slowly she sat herself as far away as she could.

Alex sat up straighter, fidgeting with a loose thread on his tunic. Discreetly, or so it would appear to anyone watching, he moved closer to Lily.

'What is it I can do for you, Sir Alex?' She asked again, smiling weakly.

Alex lazily took her hand in his, turning it palm up. Gently he traced the creases, pressing hard on her lifeline. Alanna jerked her hand away.

'Sir Alexander?'

Alex smiled. 'I'm sorry, what did you say?' He reached his hand behind his back, unfastening a knife.

'Why are you here?' Alanna raised her eyebrows in impatience. She should have left by now!

He looked away, fastening his gaze onto the dead fireplace. Every time he did it, Alex felt less human, like he was burying a large dark cloud deep inside his himself, aching to explode. He was dirty, but couldn't get clean. He was trapped, yet he couldn't escape.

It was this moment of hesitation that would cost him dearly.

'Hello, Lily?' Alex watched as a wave of relief visible showed on Lily's face, he turned taking in the state of Sir Myles of Olau. However rumoured to be the court drunk, the man had remarkably timing. Alex quickly stood, smiling to the older knight.

Myles nodded in reply. 'Lily,' he grinned comfortingly. 'I just heard you were leaving us?'

'Yes, I'm afraid so.' Alanna hadn't told a bigger lie in her life. 'Can I get you something Sir Myles? Alex? Tea perhaps?'

'That would be lovely, thankyou. I can fix it now.' Myles walked over to a side cabinet, checking the water content in the tea pot. He turned briefly to Alex, 'Would you like something, Alex?'

'No, thankyou.' Alex shrunk back into his chair, unsure of what to do with this interruption. He couldn't let Roger down, not again and so soon at that! But surely the Duke, as insane as he was, wouldn't want Alex to kill Sir Myles as well? That would arouse far too much suspicion among the court. One death he can handle, especially with a fiancee easily framed. On this thought Alex quickly pushed his hand under the cushion behind him, leaving Raoul's riding glove he had stolen the day before.

'Your up early this morning, aren't you Alex?' Myles busied himself by the rounded oak tea table.

'Just as early as you are,' was the curt reply.

Myles presented a delicate porcelain mug to Alex, whom was looking exceedingly annoyed.

'I said I didn't want anything,' Alex crossed his arms in front of his chest.

'Oh, did you?' Myles grinned innocently. 'Well, seeing as I made it.' He forced the cup into the younger mans grasp.

They sat stiffly in silence for a moment, no-one knowing what to say. At last Alex took a sip from his cup, instantly falling from the couch into a heap on the floor.

Alanna gasped. 'What did you do?'

'He'll be alright.' Myles bent down beside Alex. 'Go now, before anything else happens.'

She gave her old friend a brief hug before fleeing. 'I'll be back soon, I promise.'

…**pppqqq…**

Alanna looked out at the ocean, waves crashing violently onto the rocks. The image was quite contrary to the feelings of relief herself, George, Jonathan and Raoul shared, quartered in a tiny room at Port Caynn.

'Well, you made it then.' Jon came to stand behind her, resting a hand on her shoulder.

Alanna sighed heavily into her mug of warm cider. 'Thank the Gods.'

Raoul leaned back into his chair by the fire, lifting his feet to rest on the small table. Faithful purred happily on his lap. 'It'll be strange seeing Squire Alan again. I'm not sure I remember what he looks like.'

Jon laughed. 'He bears a _small_ resemblance to Lily, so I believe.'

Alanna snorted. 'How could that be?'

'You couldn't fool me.' Raoul drowned the rest of his mug.

George expertly kicked the door open with his foot, balancing another round of drinks in his arms. He placed the tray on the table next to Raoul's feet, helping himself to a drink before settling down in an armchair.

'I suppose this is almost "goodbye" then?' Alanna smiled half-heartedly.

'No lass, not goodbye,' George gave her a wink. 'A fresh start. It wont be long before you get your shield now anyway.'

…**pppqqq…**

It was strange being back at the palace. Alanna was sure she'd be recognised as being her sister, but the days turned to weeks and weeks to months. It wasn't till the leaves turned crisp and began to fall that the discussion of Alanna's lovely 'sister' was brought up amongst her friends.

Gary tossed his book down on the table in the deserted lesser library. 'Pray, tell us Alan- what's Lily up to these days?'

Her friends; Gary, Raoul, Jonathan and Alex were all gathered at a small table with their squires, escaping the bitter winds outside.

Alanna cleared her throat, glancing sideways at Raoul. 'She's fine.'

Gary snorted. 'Care to elaborate?'

The stubborn squire raised an eyebrow. 'Not particularly.'

Douglass laughed. 'We all liked her, you know. Pity you were away when she was here.'

'Hmm…' Alanna turned her attention back to her scroll.

Gary seemed determined to squeeze more information out of his friend. 'Yes, Raoul liked her too. Interesting, that.'

Jonathan glared at his cousin, sending him a silent warning.

Gary pouted back. 'Raoul, have you heard from Lily?'

All eyes turned to the Raoul, who couldn't help a blush rising on his cheeks. 'No.'

'Oh,' Gary picked his book back up. 'Another pity.'

'You know what else is a pity?' Sacherall nodded to Jonathan. 'I do believe Delia looked quite fat at last nights party. Don't you agree?'

…**pppqqq…**

…Midwinter Festival, six months later…

She didn't want one of her gallant friends coming out here to romance her; life was complicated enough!

He was waiting for her beside the bench where she had left her cloak.

'Hullo,' he said casually, holding the garment up. 'I think this is yours.'

…**pppqqq…**

A/N: Basically, I'm going to let you make up your own mind who you want her to be with on her birthday. If you want to know who I had in mind, email me. I'm so sad this is over -yes, this is the last chapter! And it's not even a long story either. Thankyou all so much for reading and reviewing (hint) for the last few months. You all rock.

Thanks -)


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